Microsoft Excel: Friend or Foe?

Now as a rule I generally like to keep my personal journal and my blog separate, not because my journal is super personal but to be honest for the most part it is not very interesting. Generally, I don't have too many exciting things happen to me during the day. Today though, I have decided to recycle my journal entry for blog use partially because I am too tired to write something new and also because I think it is blog-worthy. So with a few minor changes and no further introduction:

January 26, 2009

I had my first panic attack of the semester today. After spending my weekend blissfully ignoring reality, the new week hit me like a pile of bricks. I have two exams this week, the kickoff meeting for my FWIB Finance Committee, and the usual 5-day work week. Also, a messy room on top of that with a quickly depleting bank account. So naturally this all hits me while I am sitting in class today thinking about anything besides the Statistics I am supposed to be paying attention to. I thought I would be alright though, as I got out of class at 3 and assumed I had the rest of the day to begin the assignment I needed to do before my exam Wednesday night. However fate held something different for me. I don't know why I didn't expect it, as my past experiences have shown that technology truly hates me (Virtumonde right before final exams last semester? Yeah, that was me.) But of course I did not see this coming and the computer program I needed to run to do my Stats homework will not run with my Excel program. I guess I should mention that this assignment is being tested on in my exam. Great. Really, that's just perfect because I didn't want to get an A in this class anyway. And sure maybe I could of tested my software before two days prior to the first exam, but I've only been in classes for three weeks now. What would you have done? So anyways after two hours of computer help hotlines, pathetic phone calls to my Dad and to the Geek Squad, I inevitably crumble up into a ball on my bed (even more pathetic because it is covered in laundry that needs to be hung up) and let the gloom of computer illiteracy rush over me. Not to worry though, this story has a happy ending. After feeling sufficiently sorry for myself, I get up and talk to Heather and she luckily volunteers the services of her computer savvy beau, who has promised me tomorrow to install Office 2007 on my computer because he has an extra copy. There really is a God! Take that, Science! I guess the moral of this story is that some people just cannot deal with dysfunctional technology (or incompatible computer programs) and that I will probably have to marry an IT professional so I don't die of a stress-induced heart attack before I hit 22.

Worst Week Ever! Vol. 1

What a week! (I consider it over now because I only have classes Monday-Thursday) Many exciting things have happened this week. However, I would like to focus todays thoughts on who is having the worst week ever. This week the award by far goes to the University of Florida in general and UF professors to be more specific. It was pretty much a land slide victory by Tuesday when word got out of the 2005 CLAS (that is, College of Liberal Arts and Sciences) Teacher of the Year Michael Heckenberger, an anthropology professor being arrested for cocaine possesion. Now, cocaine is bad yes but what is worse is that he saw a police car, threw down his bag of cocaine, then proceeded to tell the officer who was arresting him that he was intending to trade said bag of cocaine for sexual favors from a man. TMI, my friend. TMI. It baffles me as to why he would divulge this information, as if it would get him off the hook. I personally still have many more questions on this story but this is all the information I have at the time so I will leave you the newspaper article link if you feel compelled to know more.

http://www.alligator.org/articles/2009/01/20/news/campus/090120_professor.txt

While this story is scandalous, it wasn't it alone that sealed UF's fate as having the worst week ever. However, it was another CLAS professor that got them one step further to this designation. Thank God I am a business student. The Independent Florida Alligator reported this week of the resignation of English professor James Twitchell after an April plagiarism scandal. This man taught English (English!) at the university level for 35 years and was caught taking credit and collecting book royalties for work written by others. This is deplorable, as an English professor of all people should know all the rules of plagiarism better than anyone else. (Just as the Secretay of the Treasury should know all the codes of income taxes forwards and backwards, ahem, Timothy Geithner.)

http://www.alligator.org/articles/2009/01/20/news/campus/090120_professor2.txt

I would also, like to give my award of Best Week Ever to Timothy Geithner, our soon to be U.S. Treasury Secretary for successfully beating his delinquent payroll taxes rap. Now, I understand the U.S. tax code is incredibly complex but shouldn't the person who is to be in charge of the United States treasury be able to pay the appropriate amount of payroll taxes? If he can't do it, then why should I? On a related note, where is my bailout? (Sorry, that was a digression but I have always wanted to say that.) Anyways, after a docile Senate Finance Committee hearing the majority of U.S. senators found that Mr. Geithner's tax deceptions were "innocent ones." I just hope I get that sort of leniency one day.

Surrealize the potential of this movie...

A film about Salvador Dali that also stars Robert Pattinson. Sounds like the only movie I will want to see all year. (With the exception of Harry Potter 6 of course)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGDE75No0Fo

All I want out of life is a hand-drawn WSJ portrait

Two days into my Wall Street Journal subscription and I have already made a new goal for my life. This newspaper really does make you ambitious. I have decided that my life will not be complete until I have a drawn portrait of myself featured in the Journal. Now I know this is a pretty risky goal because with it there is probably at least a 50% chance that the reason for my portrait being in there will be a $50 billion dollar Ponzi scheme (too soon?) or something else equally horrifying. But I guess I will just have to take my chances. Nothing says that you have made it (or in some cases lost everything) like a tiny picture of yourself within the text of an article that in most newspapers would be an actual picture, but not in the Journal, in the Journal it is a hand drawn portrait. Irregardless, it always means that you are a big deal, and I don't really know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal (or at least will be once I get this portrait).


*As an interesting side note, check out the two Henry Paulson portraits featured in the WSJ. The one on the left features a dignified Paulson pre-recession. The right hand side has a stern and weathered Paulson beaten down by the economy.


I will conclude with a thought for Rupert Murdoch: If Shamika Miller, a laid-off former Home Depot bookkeeper, can have a tiny hand drawn portrait of herself on the FRONT PAGE of the 1/15/09 WSJ because she frequents the library for its free wi-fi we can think of some way to get me in there too.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123197709459483585.html
(This is the online story, in the print edition she had a coveted tiny portrait)

The "Real" World

I can no longer watch The Real World...

According to Heather: "There is no longer anybody I can be attracted to on this show."

Besides the fact of this, they are not real. They are frivolous with tattooed eyebrows (another Heather comment, she helps me see things more clearly)

I am bored of this already. Kind of like how I get bored of The Real World.

NeYo is stealing all of Kelly Clarkson's Songs

It may be the wine talking, but I have made a startling discovery this evening. NeYo, the famed R&Bist (ok, I'm not really sure if this is the correct genre, I am not musically inclined) has stolen at least two songs from Kelly Clarkson! Yes, shock and awe. Shock and awe, people! The former American Idol pop icon has been infringed upon. I first noticed this as I jammed out to NeYo's 'Miss Independent' as I straightened my hair. If you don't remember, Miss Clarkson had a song a few years ago falsely entitled "Miss Independent" because the woman she sang about was far from independent. Just because you say you are "self-sufficient" and "on her own" does not make it true! (I'm sure you will go back and listen to that song again immediately) After the song ended, I went back to my computer to find a new song to listen to (I was on YouTube, thus had to click on something new to hear a new song) and what pops up but another NeYo song aptly titled, "Because of You"! Now call me crazy, but I believe THIS was a Kelly Clarkson song too. I believe in one coincidence, but two! I mean come on, I'm not stupid. So what is even more startling than this is that the two songs are also polar opposites. NeYo's 'Miss Independent' may in fact be independent (as evidenced by Gabrielle Union's totally blowing him off at the end of the music video) while Clarkson's 'Miss Independent' said "goodbye old you, when love is true." Furthermore, "Because of You" Kelly Clarkson can no longer stray too far from the sidewalk (what does that even mean?), while NeYo knows this much is true, you have become his addiction. I think he might like the girl! (And can stray from the sidewalk, but that is a different story) So there you go, I have uncovered another enlightening tale of our time. What a sad time we live in.

2009's Challenge: To Be Better than 2008

It's 2009, I never thought this year would ever get here. But now that it is let us discuss why this year will be the best year ever, or at least better than 2008. (In no particular order)

1) I am only taking three classes this semester. This should free up my time to enjoy the finer parts of college life. (i.e. Happy Hour every day of the week, random weekend road trips, etc.)
2) I am 21 this year. (Goodbye fear of jail time)
3) I already have a job that I like. (Will not start off my semester babysitting for devil children like I did in 2008)
4) The sixth Harry Potter movie is coming out this year.
5) I am keeping a blog and a journal this year. So it may be the most documented year of my life. (So I will be mad if it's not better)
6) 2009 will be my last real summer before I go into the real world. (Full time job in 2010?)

So with that, I want to make 2009 the best year ever. 2008 will be some tough competition though because I did go to Europe in 2008. Bring it, 2009!